The Return to Normal
Recently, people have begun to return to the office at my job. And James Taylor's song "Millworker" has been running through my head:
Yes, but it's my life, has been wasted
And I have been the fool
To let this manufacturer
Use my body for a tool
No, I’m not comfortable about returning to the office without the proper scientist telling me it’s safe. But it’s not just that I don’t want to get sick from going to work. It’s also the time and energy it takes to get there, be there, and come home.
It’s just that every time I leave the house, everything seems so loud now. The pace/the pretense/the competition/meaninglessness of aspects of the day-to-day life of a salaryman (or woman in my case) used to be so normal; barely recognized it. But now it all feels overwhelming to me. Why are we rushing this “return to normal”?
As the crowd around me moves toward a new endemic life, I’m still moving slowly, I Marie Kondo-ing the shit out of “normal ”. I’m mindfully considering whether each choice presented before me actually sparks joy. What I will keep from “normal life” and what I will discard? There’s a lot being tossed into that discard pile!
I know I’m choosing to keep the slowness of pandemic times going forward. Slowing down created mental space. And I filled that space with morning walks in nature, reading, journaling, and meditating. These things make me happy, so I’m keeping them.
The circumstances of the pandemic allowed relationships that drain me to quietly slip away. I’m good with that. Every person I’ve spent any amount of time with over the past two years has filled my heart to overflowing. I’d like more, please.
Can we all just acknowledge that been through something big? Can we simply take a moment? Can we just process what we’ve been through? Why are we not in one massive puppy pile giving and receiving warmth and comfort?!
How about we use the pause to reflect and re-consider what it means to "go back to normal"? Do we have to do things the way we always have? Is it possible to maintain any aspects of these pandemic times? What have we learned? Can any of it be used to make our post-pandemic lives better? Are our priorities the same as before? What is absolutely necessary? Can we be more thoughtful about how and where we spend our energy?
So many people are still mourning the loss of loved ones. Rather than moving quickly past it, can we stop for a moment and sit with our collective grief?
When my yoga teacher says that “life isn’t a yoga class”, he means that the hard stuff is happening outside the yoga class. Our yoga practice is all about settling the mind so we are prepared to endure the hard things. So, yes the pandemic was hard but as yoga students, we’ve trained for it.
And now that we are coming up on the other side of this hard thing, its worth remembering that the nature of the Universe is that there can not be darkness, without light. So, let’s stop and remember the things that lit the way for us. I’m calling them pandemic blessings and I’m all about counting mine:
Online yoga allowed me to teach to an amazing community and it reconnected me with Anusara yoga. And my Anusara teacher who gave me a weekly reminder to practice looking for the Good
Morning walks that replaced my commute
My "pandemic buddies" who I hold dearer now
Rediscovering Crab feasts
That time All Set delivered a roll of toilet paper with my lobster roll just when I needed it
How Netflix dominated the content game and the weekday nights we spent on the sofa watching
Lighting the fireplace during the week.
That vacation in upstate NY
That beautiful socially distanced gratitude dinner that touched my heart and where I was gifted with fuzzy socks by some pretty awesome hosts
My self-care service providers; I missed them so much!
So grateful for my parents, who have actually stayed in the house without argument and have stayed well thus far
What are your reflections on returning to normal? What are your pandemic lessons and blessings?